Would you Rather:

Go everywhere by crawling,
Or have to always stand on your hands when stationary?

Chew the beak off a chicken,
Or bite the legs off half a dozen mice?

Chew on a wild rat’s severed tail for half and hour,
Of thoroughly brush our teeth with a toothbrush from a prison’s community toothbrush bowl?

Bite into a piece of chocolate and find it filled with maggots,
Or filled with puss?

Walk around all day with a dead mouse up your butt,
Or a dead frog in your mouth?

Eat all you food liquefied and frozen, like a popsicle,
Or have strangers squish all your food like whine grapes with their perfectly clean but bare feet before you eat it?

Fall though the toilet hole in an outhouse,
Or temporarily trapped beneath a pile of dean animals?

Chew a mole off someone’s neck,
Of drink a half a cup of your best friend’s blood?

Take a bumpy two-mile ride sitting wedged (feet hanging out) in a small metal shopping cart,
Or take a 25-mile ride in the empty but rotating bin of a cement truck?

Always have to wear wet socks,
Or always have to wear wet underwear?

Eat one small bar of hotel soap,
Or six sticks of butter?

Be trapped in an elevator packed with wet dogs,
Or three fat men with bad breath?

Given that you are a 45-minute walk or 20-minute run from the nearest toilet facility and you have the strong need to take an immediate dump, walk
Or run to the toilet?

Eat a cooked beaver tail,
Or a cooked cow udder?

Have a little man that lives in your mouth and incessantly hammers on your teeth with a pick,
Or coexist with a small bird that lives on your nose and yanks out your nose hairs at it’s discretion?

Run (no walking) a half a marathon in wooden shoes,
Or bike two hundred miles with no seat, just the post sticking up?

Bite the curb and get kicked in the back of the head,
Or get a paper cut on your eyeball?

Have brown teeth,
Or have your hairline half and inch above your eyebrows?

Shove your whole head in an elephants butt,
Or lick a corpse clean after an autopsy?

Have a butt full or worms,
Or a mouthful of ticks?

Turn around three times before you sit down anywhere,
Or do a little jig before you go through any doorway?

Chew a piece of toenail off a dirty man’s foot,
Or thoroughly lick his un-showered armpit?

Cut 1/4 of an acre of grass with your teeth,
Or lick up a 15’ by 15’ rain puddle?

Talk like you lave walnuts in your mouth,
Or walk like you have a walnut up your butt?

Have one long, thick, furry eyebrow across your entire forehead,
Or an inordinate amount of ear and nose hair that cannot be removed?

Do a mini cheer every time someone compliments you,
Or have to jump up and touch the door frame every time you go through a door?

Lick the head of a bald Harley race after a sweaty race,
Or lick the entire surface of a car hood that hasn’t been washed in a month?

Get everywhere by crawling,
Of have to always stand on your hands when you are stationary?

Sweat green liquid from your pores,
Or fart blue smoke?

Have a see-through nose,
Or entirely white eyeballs?

Clip a homeless strangers disgusting toe nails,
Or clip your own toe nails, and eat the clippings?

Eat a newly born baby rodent,
Or a small sack of crawling caterpillars?

Drink a glass of your own day-old spit,
Or your own sweat?

Have to slurp the spittle out of the instruments of the brass section of a philharmonic orchestra after a performance,
Or have to chew the petrified gum stuck to the bottom of every seat in a movie theater?

Swallow a small fish tied to a string and pull it back up after 3 minutes,
Or gently swallow a live cockroach whole so that it lives until it reaches your stomach? (no chewing or beverages allowed)

Eat three earthworms,
Or wear a necklace made of them on your wedding day?

Have to hang onto the top of a car going 100 mph for ten minutes,
Or try to stay on the top of a hot air balloon in the sky for ten minutes?

As a man, have to lick sugar of and extremely obese woman’s inner arm rash,
Or lap up maple syrup from her linty belly button?

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over,
Or lick a two-inch area of the back side of the urinal in a Port-a-Potty?

Eat a small cactus,
Or a cup of pebbles?

Have to eat 5 peach pits,
Or half a pound of watermelon seeds?

Swallow a live goldfish,
Or swallow a teaspoonful of cold fish eyes?

Thoroughly lick the entire surface of ten one-dollar bills and two dollars worth or quarters,
Of thoroughly lick the mouthpieces of four football players after a game?

Drink a two-ounce glass of liquid from a huge blister,
Or eat a salad covered with ‘Bits O’ Scabs’?

Eat poison Ivy,
Or a handful of bumblebees?

Lick the inside of a use toilet plunger,
Of the inside of a football players jockstrap?

Have to suck all the ink out of a ballpoint pen,
Or have you tongue painted with Wite-out?

Eat a bottle cap?
Or a spider the size of a bottle cap?

Lick all the bugs off an 18-wheeler’s grill after a long haul,
Or suck on frozen dog poop for 30 seconds?

Always wear shoes that are half a size too small,
Or always have your underwear creeping up your butt?

Eat a shot glass of live wasps,
Or eat a shot glass?

Have to lie motionless while a fruit bat licks fruit jelly off your face,
Or while a vulture eat roadkill off your stomach?

Chew shards or broken glass,
Or sit on a lighted barbecue grill?

Drink liquid found leaking from a garbage bag,
Or chew on a hairy substance found between your couch cushions?

Shave your mom’s bikini line,
Or your dad’s butt?

Eat at handful of chicken feathers,
Or 5 tablespoons of frog eggs?

Fill a large pail with beach sand using only your mouth,
Or chew and swallow one pound or sea week or kelp?

Eat a dozen raw eggs, shell and all,
Or four raw potatoes?

Eat one live tarantula,
Of hold a live wasp in your mouth for one minute?

Bite the head off a gopher,
Or thoroughly lick a cat’s butt?

Run a mile on a six-inch-deep bed of potatoes,
Or swim a quarter of a mile through maple syrup twelve feet deep?

Eat someone’s tumor right after it has been extracted by surgery,
Or chew and swallow someone’s eyeballs?

Run one mile with a cracked shinbone,
Or do 50 sit-ups with a cracked tailbone?

Have to eat the contents of one vacuum-cleaner bag,
Or one pound of toe jam?

Eat 15 feet of aluminum foil,
Or swallow 6 guitar strings?

Lick the floor beneath a fridge,
Or the underside of a toilet seat?

Always lose,
Or never play?